Living a Life of Celibacy- Challenging

Living a life of celibacy I must say has been the hardest decision that I have ever had to make. I wish that I had made this decision a long time ago. I have seen men practically serve it up on a platter at a chance to prove I can't be celibate.

What I did find was that the men in my life that I thought respected after being in a relationship with them for 4 years or more, was that they never respected me from day 1. Why is it that when a relationship breaks up, you hear all the things about you that they were thinking and never had the courage to say.

What I must say to that is thank you. Thank you for opening my eyes to the underlying problem....ME. It was ME who allowed myself to get involved with such low lives. It was ME who did not muster up enough self confidence to see my worth and my value. I can't blame them. I have to start with myself.

Now that I now my self worth, it's on. No more of that girl who was display low self estem and confidence in her worth. I don't know why more African American fathers don't tell their daughters that they are beautiful or strength the bond. I know that was lacking in my life. Even though my father taught me values of hard work and business sense, he forgot I was his little girl. He forgot that me was the 1st man in my life that should have told me he loved me. He should have explanined to me how men take advantage of women and how I was a strong queen who should never settle for less.

But that's okay, the lesson has been learned.